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Wednesday, April 9, 2014

How Far Are They Going?

Every Wednesday, I get an email from BabyCenter, giving me an update as to how big Miss Ruby June is getting.  I get a kick out of the little paragraphs.  "She is the size of a kumquat."  "She is the size of a rutabaga."  None of these size comparisons are especially helpful, seeing that I usually have to Google the fruits and vegetables they're listing.

Today, Ruby is 26 weeks along.  She's the size of a scallion.  (See.  Couldn't they give me something that I use on a daily basis?  I'm not exactly Gordon Ramsey.)  About 14 inches long, and weighing about a pound and 2/3.

For some reason (I don't know why) the last part of the message cracked me up:
 "If you're having a boy, his testicles are beginning to descend into his scrotum — a trip that will take two to three days."                   
A trip?!?!

I have so many questions, now.  Did they plan ahead and pack a lunch?  Does one of the testicles have to call shotgun?  Do you think one of them made a mix tape to listen to on the way?  What happens if they pick up a hitchhiker?

Seriously?  Two to three days?!  I've had trips to Vegas that haven't been that long.

Seriously though.  April is Testicular Cancer Awareness Month.  Don't forget to do a self exam.  Get that shit checked out.

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