Sex, Drugs, and Rock & Roll (Choose Two)

The wife and I went to a concert a couple of months ago.  It was the first show we had been to since mid-2009.  I put a Ziploc baggie of drugs in my sock, to sneak past security at the front door.  This is what I snuck in:

Ibuprofen and fucking No-Doze.  I'll take "Signs You're Getting Too Old" for $400, Alex.